What is the best advice you’ve heard from a commencement speech. Inspired today by this image from The Onion, we’ve pulled together a few of the most entertaining, memorable and hilarious college commencement speeches from the last few years. Enjoy:
via The Onion
Will Ferrell, Comedian
I’m not one of you. Okay? I can’t relate to who you are and what you’ve been through. I graduated from the University of Life. All right? I received a degree from the School of Hard Knocks. And our colors were black and blue, baby. I had office hours with the Dean of Bloody Noses. All right? I borrowed my class notes from Professor Knuckle Sandwich and his Teaching Assistant, Ms. Fat Lip Thon Nyun. That’s the kind of school I went to for real, okay?
Stephen Colbert, “The Colbert Report”
Northwestern University 2011
You are what some have called “The Greatest Generation”. Not many – but some – so far just me. And I’m counting on you to not make me look like an idiot for saying that. So be great -no pressure.
Conan O’Brien, “Conan”
Dartmouth College 2011
Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know that I once sat where you sit. Literally. Late last night I snuck out here and sat in every seat. I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.
Amy Poehler, Comedian
Harvard University 2011
If I wanted to give you advice as a Bostonian, I would remind you that: Just because you’re wicked smart it doesn’t mean you are better than me.
Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show”
The College of William and Mary 2011
Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just, you know, decide to be president. You’ve got to really work hard.
Jimmy Fallon, “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon”
The College of Saint Rose 2009
Today you are going to walk out of here, and you’re not going to be in college anymore. You are going to be in the real world. And I’m not going to lie to you — the real world is freaking terrifying. Have you guys seen the movie “The Graduate?” Well, the real world is nothing like that movie. When you leave here today your parents’ hot friend will not try to have sex with you.
Ali G (Sacha Baron Cohen), “Da Ali G Show”
Hearmenow, u iz de most cleverest students in America – some of u iz probably brilliant at counting – ye know…1,2,3…4…. I could go on…easy. Others of u iz brilliant at English – have memorised de whole alphabet ‘a to x’ and even be able to spell words like ‘hippototamus’. Incredible.