Hilarious Commencement Speeches

What is the best advice you’ve heard from a commencement speech. Inspired today by this image from The Onion, we’ve pulled together a few of the most entertaining, memorable and hilarious college commencement speeches from the last few years. Enjoy:

via The Onion

  1. Will Ferrell, Comedian

    Harvard 2003

    I’m not one of you. Okay? I can’t relate to who you are and what you’ve been through. I graduated from the University of Life. All right? I received a degree from the School of Hard Knocks. And our colors were black and blue, baby. I had office hours with the Dean of Bloody Noses. All right? I borrowed my class notes from Professor Knuckle Sandwich and his Teaching Assistant, Ms. Fat Lip Thon Nyun. That’s the kind of school I went to for real, okay?


    Photo: Getty Images
    Watch the commencement speech
    Read the transcript

  2. Stephen Colbert, “The Colbert Report”

    Northwestern University 2011

    You are what some have called “The Greatest Generation”. Not many – but some – so far just me. And I’m counting on you to not make me look like an idiot for saying that. So be great -no pressure.


    Watch the commencement speech
    Read the transcript

  3. Conan O’Brien, “Conan”

    Dartmouth College 2011

    Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know that I once sat where you sit. Literally. Late last night I snuck out here and sat in every seat. I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.


    Watch the commencement speech
    Read the transcript

  4. Amy Poehler, Comedian

    Harvard University 2011

    If I wanted to give you advice as a Bostonian, I would remind you that: Just because you’re wicked smart it doesn’t mean you are better than me.


    Watch the commencement speech
    Read the transcript

  5. Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show”

    The College of William and Mary 2011

    Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just, you know, decide to be president. You’ve got to really work hard.


    Watch the commencement speech
    Read the transcript

  6. Jimmy Fallon, “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon”

    The College of Saint Rose 2009

    Today you are going to walk out of here, and you’re not going to be in college anymore. You are going to be in the real world. And I’m not going to lie to you — the real world is freaking terrifying. Have you guys seen the movie “The Graduate?” Well, the real world is nothing like that movie. When you leave here today your parents’ hot friend will not try to have sex with you.


    Watch the commencement speech

  7. Ali G (Sacha Baron Cohen), “Da Ali G Show”

    Harvard 2004

    Hearmenow, u iz de most cleverest students in America – some of u iz probably brilliant at counting – ye know…1,2,3…4…. I could go on…easy. Others of u iz brilliant at English – have memorised de whole alphabet ‘a to x’ and even be able to spell words like ‘hippototamus’. Incredible.


    Watch the commencement speech
    Read the transcript

Categories
Education Advice
Tags
, , , , , , , , ,
http://degreesearch.org/blog/hilarious-commencement-speeches/